Which church should we attend? This question is a point of frustration for many people. If you struggle with fatherlessness, this can be a sensitive issue. Many people seek family they never had through the Church and they should. The Church is a family; in fact, the Church is THE family of God. Therefore, the question "what defines 'the church,'" is acute.
Let's say that you have daddy wounds because your parents divorced when you were young. After wandering around in the world, trying to find your place, now you have come to Jesus and experienced new life, healing, and hope. You expect that going to Church will mean more of the same healing, hope, love, and acceptance. Instead, you find disfunction, neglect, insincerity, or commercialism. You then bounce around from denomination to denomination and group to group, looking for something similar to what you experienced in Jesus when you first believed. But you can't seem to find it. Where is the family of God? Which Church is the TRUE Church?!
Nobody should define their family based upon their denomination. The Church is the communion of the Saints, not the communion of the Baptists or any other sect. The Church is every single person who has a genuine love for Jesus abiding within them. As the Apostle Paul said, "if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ." Romans 8:9. The abiding Spirit of Jesus, as seen through the character of one's life, is the sole distinction for members of Christ's family.